A funny thing!

By Kathy Scott – Textile sculptor

I don’t get out a lot! I say this to people all the time. I’m always working away in my lovely rural Norfolk studio in its idyllic setting on a piece of our land just opposite our little cottage. Okay this paints a pretty picture and yes a lot of the time it is wonderful! But when you have to go to a function or opening of something or just anything, which involves being sociable, the nerves can really set in!

This spring Sky TV commissioned me to create a trophy for their ‘Bride of the Year’ winner and I had no trouble in producing it and actually really enjoyed the artistic and technical challenge.

It was when an invitation dropped through the door to be a VIP Judge for the final at a v posh London Hotel the beads of sweat started to appear on my forehead! Every excuse in the book to get out of it: no one to look after the dogs, too expensive to travel by train, oh - and that time honoured one: but I’ve nothing to wear!

After a good ticking off from Alison at PIN I decided that it would be in the best interests of my business, blar, blar blar! I threw something together and off I went on my own!!!

I found the Hotel alright and stood looking at the doorman thinking, ‘oh isn’t he smart!’ I’m sure that’s not the right thing to think? He opened the huge imposing glass door for me and I walked inside to be greeted by an enormous staring statue of a lion. Manoeuvring myself around it with my back to any person who may want to converse with me, I finally turned to be face to face with someone I thought might be an old friend? I said ‘hi ya how are you?’ she said ‘fine thanks, well bye then’. It was at that second I realised that it would be highly unlikely for me to bump into anyone that I would know given the situation and that I had just spoken to Billie Piper as if I had known her for many years!

Well this didn’t really help my nerves at all so I rushed to find the loo’s.  Even there I could find no escape as a rather large smartly dressed lady wanted to spray me with perfume, hand me tiny fluffy cotton towels and moisturising cream for my hands!

I kept clear of OK magazine which wasn’t clever really as I was supposed to be networking! Yuk! I hate that word!

All of the judges made their decision and we all headed off to the cinema room where all the premiers are screened. Sky TV director gave a speech thanking all involved in the making of the programme. ‘I would like to thank so and so for hair and make up’ hooray!! (Applause). I would like to thank so and so for photography hooray!!! (Applause), I would like to thank Kathy Scott for producing the beautiful trophy’ (mumble, mumble!!!). This I found hugely funny! You can hear me chuckling away in the background if you listen quite hard!

We then went on to another room filled with over the top handed painted wallpaper, to mingle and chat. I felt quite comfortable here and sat back to watch the goings ons!  Do you know there was actually an, ‘if looks could kill’, accidental champagne spillage incident, between a presenter and a dress designer! Brilliant!!

My advice to you my fellow Produced in Norfolker’s, never be scared to go mingle with the celeb’s. They are absolutely clueless but really good entertainment!!

The best thing to come from the whole experience was that I met Elizabeth Emanuel the designer of Lady Di’s wedding dress. I found her cowering in the corner from the cameras, which made me feel quite normal!

For my next instalment ‘Kathy Scott and the Coronation Street wedding cake top commission’!  Oh my stomach really hurts – hilarious!!!!!